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i’m a survivor!!!

yep. how many more apocalypses must i survive before people realize that they CAN’T PREDICT THE END OF THE WORLD!?!?!?! i mean, come on. here is where my catholic girl side is coming out: i’m gonna quote some scripture, ya’ll. (yes, i’m catholic. and i go to a catholic school. deal with it. ;D)

in matthew 24:36 (NIV), “No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.”

in mark 13:32 (NIV), “No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.”

(yeah, i know, both are the exact same wording, but that tends to happen [that, or paraphrasing] amongst matthew, mark, and luke)

here’s a link to a guy who explains it perfectly, in my opinion. (he’s talking about the second coming of christ, so for you atheists, just remember that the parousia is pretty much synonymous with the end of the world.)

John Salza explains The Second Coming

and then we have acts 1:7 (NIV) with, “He said to them: ‘It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority.'”

so back to what i was rambling about. if i’m correct, i’ve survived at least 33 predicted apocalypses. and i plan on surviving the next one, too. 😉

here’s a link to a list of predicted (and failed) apocalypses on wikipedia: FAIL upon FAIL upon EPIC FAIL.

here’s a shortened list of the more notable apocalypses i’ve survived:

  • my first apocalypse: 12/17/1996, predicted by California psychic Sheldon Nidle, bringing with it angels and 16 million spaceships. #facepalm.
  • then there’s 03/31/1998, predicted by Hon-Ming Chen (陳恆明). just read the description in the link above. it’s just…. oi. *rolls eyes and laughs derisively*
  • poor Marilyn Agee. she made about 13 failed predictions in 1998 and another for 05/21/1999. she even wrote a book on her prediction. *shakes head exasperatedly*
  • or how about the ever-popular Nostradamus? his involved a “king of terror” coming from the sky in “1999 and seven months” (july). yeah. if you didn’t already know, Nostradamus is an extremely old guy famous for his “prophecies” of the future, specifically those in his book Les Propheties. it’s said he predicted the 09/11/2001 attacks, etc. *whatever.* if you wanna know more about ol’ Nostra, click here.

if you haven’t figured it out by now, i’m a bit of a skeptic. anyway, back to the list.

  • next up is the infamous Y2K. you know, the one where all computers were gonna crash because they couldn’t compute the change in centuries? yeah. this one i can understand. it wasn’t predicting the end of the physical earth, only the end of the world as we had come to know it technology-wise. so no skepticism for this one. it was a very real concern. luckily, it didn’t happen.
  • also in 2000 we have the origin of the statement “don’t drink the kool-aid!” with the mass/group “suicide” of the followers of Joseph Kibweteere in Uganda. click on joe’s name for info on him. *craaaaaazyyyyyyy! (in a sing-songy voice, if you please.)*
  • of course, there are also the numeral-related apocalypses to survive:
  1. 01/01/2001
  2. 01/11/2001
  3. 11/01/2001
  4. 11/11/2001
  5. 02/02/2002
  6. 02/22/2002
  7. 03/03/2003
  8. 04/04/2004
  9. 05/05/2005
  10. 06/06/2006-yeah. 6/6/06. that number.
  11. 07/07/2007-another more seriously taken date.
  12. 08/08/2008
  13. 09/09/2009
  14. 10/10/2010
  15. 11/11/2011-widely celebrated with people clamoring to give birth at exactly 11:11 AM/PM on 11/11/2011 (or get married or, i guess there were some who went to this extreme, die, etc.) yeah. i was in houston, TX at that time with girl scouts, and my friend took a picture of her cell phone at exactly 11:11 and 11 sec on 11/11/2011. here, i’ll insert it. 11/11/2011 at 11:11 AM
  16. 12/12/2012. the last numerical phenom for a very long while. it really wasn’t of much consequence this year due to the last failed prediction i’m gonna list next on this post.
  • yep, you guessed it. i’m skipping about 12 years to get to the last apocalypse i’ve survived in my lifetime: 12/21/2012. THE apocalypse. the one the mayans “predicted.” excuse me, but, umm, first off, all they did was, well, not continue their calendar. i mean, they only calculated a few million years already, beginning with 3113 BCE. yeah, and they believed that the calendar started over at this date. that’s all. no doomsday crap. here’s the link to explain the Haab’ in a scientifical way. 🙂 and secondly, the Haab’ consisted of a 360-day year. there were no leap years. so i guess the date would have been much earlier, but now after skimming through the article above, well, i’m not sure that that’s correct anymore. but it was a worthy argument while i needed it. 😉

be prepared, though, y’all. there’s already another apocalypse predicted for next year. 05/19/2013 is Ronald Weinland‘s next prediction of the end of the world. he already failed twice, first on 09/29/2011, and then on 05/27/2012. he was recently sentenced to 42 months in prison and a $245,000 tax restitution for tax evasion (5 charges, no less) on 11/14/2012 and begins his sentence on 01/02/2013. can you sense my disdain and sarcasm yet? here’s a hint: i think this recent turn of events is HILARIOUS, if you ask me. if you wanna read more about ron, click on his name, read about his book and COG-PKG here, or be entertained by the openly opinionated blog  that critically reviews all of Ronald’s stuff.

well, that’s all for now. perhaps you know the theme for tonight. 😉 only time will tell.

yours till the world ends, DJ BP


About sillybabypanda

listen to me on that obscure radio show every week from a link i post here or on! <3, DJ BP

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